Who Wants a bug zapper?
So just exactly who would want a bug zapper? We think it goes without saying that certainly just about anyone would appreciate one of our hilariously fun and effective bug zapper rackets, but in the self serving interest of suggesting a wide variety of people that you may be required to purchase a gift for in the near future, we are proud to submit the following electric bug zapper gift giving potential recipient list:
hunters campers fisherman hikers bikers picnickers farmers joggers boaters
rock climbers canoers rafters rock climbers bird watchers golfers vacationers sightseers
beach goers fruit pickers kayakers horse riders skateboarders tree climbers
power walkers construction workers landscapers contractors utility workers retired people
stone masons gardeners anyone who hates bugs anyone who likes having fun
Let us take the pleasure of spelling out some real life scenarios involving people who would, in theory, want a bug zapper:
- Is your wife always screaming at you to rush home and kill some errant spider? Buy her a portable bug zapper (and live out the rest of your life in peace).
- Do you enjoy taking your dog for a walk, but hate getting turned into mince meat by the local mosquitoes? Bring along a handheld bug zapper and take back your neighborhood!
- Do you like to keep a clean and tidy house? Don't squash a housefly against the wall and create a nasty bacterial mess – just electrocute that sucker with our indoor friendly bug zapper racket and simply tap the side of the racket against the wastebasket for neat clean insect disposal.
- Has your backyard turned into a mosquito breeding ground of apocalyptic proportions? Stop running away from the problem and cowering in gazebos or screen porches - go on the offensive with our brutal bug zapper and lay down the law!
- Has a tyrannical stinkbug invasion permanently altered the smell of your basement to a fragrance striking similar to that of of a La La Palooza port o' potty? Forget about determining who first smelt it, because in this situation you know dam well who dealt it - and they are crawling all over your friggin' walls. Obliterate stink bugs with our electronic bug zappers.
So have we officially solved the spine tingling mystery of who want's a bug zapper? Of course we have - the answer is everyone! In fact, not withstanding the possibility that you are some type of sketchy bug loving creeper, the real question is, who would not want one?
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