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Spider Control
Are you looking to effectively control spiders and fully conquer the filthy furry spider population? Well you have come to the right place. Let’s examine the three most threatening facets of dirty spider behavior and then determine a premium solution for spider control and domination.
REASON TO CONTROL SPIDERS #1 - Spiders are crawlers
Yes, its sad but true, spiders not only want to have a party on your body while you are sleeping, but they intend to mount your body via the crawling method that has been a very integral part of spider behavior since the first daddy long legs hatched many eons ago. Insects that crawl are the lowest of the low; literally, as in, they live very close to the ground. Spiders will crawl in underneath your door, crawl up the side of your wall, crawl on your leg while you are watching television. Don’t even bother trying to understand their crawling behavior, just know this, if it can be crawled upon, you can bet your bottom dollar they are all over it. By the way, if you sleep with your mouth open, spiders can, and sometimes will, crawl into your mouth. Also, we know this is not what you want to hear (especially if you don’t own a bug zapper) but depending on the time of year and your own personal luck, spiders may or may not attempt to lay eggs inside your mouth.
REASON TO CONTROL SPIDERS #2 - Spiders are biters
Now days a large percentage of the United States population seems to be under the completely false impression that most spiders do not bite, and we have no idea where this idiocy started, but pardon us while we laugh out loud, because nothing could be further from the truth. Spiders most definitely DO bite, and will bite, especially if they feel threatened. Some types of nasty spiders, like the wolf spider, are very aggressive hunters with massive fangs. There is no easy way to control the biting tendencies that are an inherent aspect of every spider’s natural disposition. The simple fact that spiders will bite the shit out of you is perhaps the single strongest reason to control them.
REASON TO CONTROL SPIDERS #3 - Spiders are devious
Spiders don’t just hatch eggs, they hatch plans. It’s not uncommon for a spider to lie in wait and spend many hours carefully and quietly determining the right plan of attack for any particular piece of prey, humans included. If you witness a spider sitting in a stationary position, don’t make the mistake of thinking that spider is just lazy, because chances are; it’s simply biding its time, waiting to attack your face.
Now let’s watch a quick spider attack video
Now that you know just what you are up against, the question is, how are you going to control the evil spider?
You could try passive weak chicken shit tactics like chemical pellets or sprays, but with a full understanding of the deplorable nature of the enemy you are facing; don’t you really want something a little more, well, violent? Trying to control and defend against spiders is a serious situation, and it requires a serious solution, like the legendary destructive powers of our electrified bug zapper racket. Why not purchase a bug zapper today?
With a viciously effective electronic bug zapper by your side, spider control is easy breezy. I guess what we are really advocating for is not so much spider control as it is total spider destruction, which can be sort of defined as a type of spider control. After all, if the spider population no longer exists, then it has indeed effectively been controlled, has it not?. Human WIN!
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