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Insect Facts
Seeking insect facts? Well the fact of the matter is that insects are the bane of the planet earth!Since the dawn of time insects have done nothing but spread disease, plague, and misery. Over the course of history civilized society has suffered greatly at the mercy of the vile insect, yet with every stomp of the boot, swat of the hand, and swing of the broom, so has humanity progressed in this epic insect conflict for the ages. Yet one mind boggling question remains…why, until this point, have the battle hardened solders of mankind, engaged in the fight of their lives, been armed with only the archaic weaponry of yesteryear?
Well, while we cannot defend the technological shortcomings of generations past, we are proud to present the electrical bug destroying revolution of the future. Our extremely ruthless bug zapper racket is a vicious new weapon that evens the playing field, makes full use of the opposable thumb, and will absolutely decimate any insect in its path – and that’s a fact. Pretty much, it’s an electrified tennis racket; and once you own one, you become the hunter, not the hunted. With our bug zapper in your hands, the fact of the matter is, that you possess insect destructive abilities that your ancestors could have only dreamed of, and therefore, in honor of all those that have been bitten, once you own our bug zapping device, it is your solemn duty, in the interest of righteous retribution, to absolutely obliterate every insect you encounter – murder them all!
Consider the following insect facts:Does the Central American Botfly show mercy when it buries its egg sacs under your skin? Does the common mosquito exhibit compassion when it spreads malaria among the masses? Does the southwest scorpion exude empathy when it hides in your shoe? Of course not, so why should you! Looking past such disturbing insect facts is very risky behavior. Why not just upgrade your weaponry today, purchase our cripplingly effective bug and fly zapper and become the Predator, not the prey!
The insects will hate your for it, and that’s a fact!
Some additional unsubstantiated insect facts:Insect fact #1 - insects think you are ugly and they hate your family
That's right, we even heard they were talking smack about your mother
Insect fact #2 - insects want to breed larva inside your stomach
Right in your belly big boy, are you going to take that?
Insect fact #3 - If insects see you eating a cheeseburger, they will attempt to burrow under the cheese when you are not looking
We cannot prove this theory, although we doubt you can disprove it?
Insect fact #4 - insects think you are a loser
You better believe it - the fact of the matter is that when insects are landing on your face left and right, what more proof do you need?
Insect fact #5 - insects think you are a gaylord
We think that is a insect fact that speaks for itself!
In the face of all these titillating insect facts, we are fully cognizant that its easy to lose sight of the real reason that you have visited our company site, and that reason is that you hate insects and want them to die. Don't get too caught up in all this factual insect garble that you forget to buy a bug zapper and seek vengeance on insect kind.
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