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How to use a bug zapper
Looking to use a bug zapper to the fullest extent possible?Fear not, generally speaking, electric bug zappers are easy to use, and there are many different tactics and sinister techniques a human may employ when deciding exactly how to zap a bug to death with one of our super powerful bug zappers. While it might prove impossible to cover every single variable kill shot methodology, we will try to cover some of the basics (and classics) of bug zapper usage - because learning to use a bug zapper can be not only fun, but fruitful!
Bug Zapper Technique #1 - The Haymaker
This is an old boxing phrase, and refers to an all out, balls to the wall, power swing. When speaking in regards to battery operated bug zapper technique, it’s kind of like throwing a right hook while holding one of our zappers in your hand. To utilize this power move, wait until a foul insect is hovering nearby, activate your bug zapper racket by pressing the red power button, and then quite simply, swing for the fences. Hit that bug as hard and as fast as possible and zap it to death in horrific fashion. Ideally, if you are using the hay maker technique properly, the bug would likely have been killed even if the electric zapper racket had not been turned on. That’s how hard you want to smash the little sucker. Of course, if your bug zapper is electrified at the time of insect impact, now that’s the explosive life ending blast you are really looking for!
Bug Zapper Technique #2 - The Bait and SwitchIf the bug you have targeting happens to be a slow moving crawler, you can use the “bait and switch” maneuver. This is extremely fun. Basically, you want to softly approach the insect you’re your bug zapper extended; but the power turned off. Gently nudge the insect onto the body of the portable zapper racket's in a kind and non threatening manner. Now, if executed properly, the bug should be under the false impression that you intend to help it, perhaps thinking that you are graciously offering it safe passage to the outside world? Once the insect has voluntarily crawled right out into the center of your electrical “olive branch” – turn on the juice for a hilariously fatal zap!
Bug Zapper Technique #3 - The BackhandIf you are an avid tennis player, this incest zap maneuver might be just what the doctor ordered. Essentially you want to wait until your intended target is parallel with your body and then, using mostly your wrist and forearm to generate swinging power, deliver a morbidly intense swing out and away from your body but keeping the zapper rigidly held in your hand so that when you make contact with the bug, the critter is striking the side of the racket face that is pointing upwards toward the sky. It’s a lot of fun when executed properly, plus switching up your handheld bug zapper offense keeps your winged opponents on their tiny microscopic heels. For more general information on exactly what a “backhand” is, in case you are confused, simply consult any tennis website for pictures and tutorials.
Note: regardless of which specific techniques you decide to utilize during your bug killing pursuits, its important to remember that all methods work equally well at any time of day!
Remember, like with anything else, practice makes perfect - but with just a tiny pinch of experience, and a heaping helping of inner hatred, you will be learn how to use a bug zapper to detonate everything in your path in no time at all.
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