Tennis Racket Bug Zapper
When casting eyes your eyes upon the glory of our massive and destructive bug zappers the most striking observation you will make is their obvious resemblance to actual tennis rackets – they are undoubtedly tennis racket style bug zappers (in form), but what about in function? Does the actual process of killing bugs with our zapper rackets bear any similarities to the traditional game of tennis?At first contemplation it would seem like zapping a bug with one of our tennis racket zappers is not at all similar to the back and forth nature of an actual game of tennis, due to the finality with which our zappers kill mosquitoes and insects of all size. Where’s the competition, where is the give and take?
With our bug zappers its one hit, one kill – so on the surface tennis racket bug zapper usage seems quite dissimilar to a real game of tennis, however if you alter your focus from the specificity of an individual kill, and instead consider your personal battle against insects as a whole to be a “match” of sorts – well in that case, with one of our rackets in your hand – you are more than ready to play a fun filled game that very much so mimics the original.
Envision the following bug zapper racket tennis match playing out in your backyard this summer.
You have just finished mowing your lawn on a balmy July afternoon. You wipe the sweat from your brow, and almost immediately a disease filled mosquito bites you smack dab in the middle of your forehead.Score = Insects 15 - Love
Furious, you slap the mosquito as it is feeding on your sweaty melon, crushing it into oblivion.
Score = 15 – 15
As you walk back to your home, you pass underneath a willow tree just as a gentle breeze blows, causing a precariously perched wolf spider lose its balance and fall directly onto the back of your neck, it quickly scurries across your chin and jumps to the ground. You are not bitten, but the judges find the fact that you were severely creeped out by the incident as sufficient justification to register a score for the insects. You argue your case to no avail.
Score = Insects 30 – 15
You now notice the offending spider has made a fatal flaw, and allowed you to visually track it to a standstill position. It’s now clinging to the side of your outer basement wall – and your zapper is nearby. You fire up your tennis racket bug zapper and cover the spider – trapping it in 3000 volts of hellfire, sparking and sizzling it beyond recognition, reducing to a little more than a charred shriveled smoking mini raisin.
Score = 30 – 30
Satisfied that you ended the life of that spider, you feel suddenly relaxed and at peace with the world. You spread your arms, flex your chest, and let out a much deserved yawn, but at just that moment a huge mud dauber wasp stings you deeply in the tendon on the back of your knee.
Score = Insects 40 – 30 MATCH POINT Insects
Now you are livid. You want vengeance, you want violent retribution, but most importantly you sure as hell don’t want to let the insects take this overall match. With the tennis racket bug zapper still in your hand, and the wasp that attacked you slowly floating out of reach, you execute a perfectly timed backhand strike with full force – sending wings and legs flying in all directions and detonating the dauber in epic fashion.
Score = Deuce
With the match clinging in the balance, you suddenly notice a grasshopper dangling from a dew soaked leaf that’s located well within your racket swing kill zone. Sure, it’s an innocent grasshopper, but it’s also a scoring opportunity, and one that you don’t intend to let pass you by. You quickly decide that the ends justify the means and crush the grasshopper with a power stroke, tearing apart the plant it was sitting on and sending its crisp carcass sailing a good 10 meters out into the lawn.
Score = Advantage Human Match Point
Out of the corner of your eye you spy an opportunity to seal the deal – a fat unidentified beetle threatening to waddle its way into your front door – in the interest of overall insect intimidation you decide to forego the bug zapper tennis racket all together and end this match “old school”. You deliver a wrestling style foot wag stomp – exploding the moist beetle into a puddle of muck.
You win – looks like the insects forgot that in this game – there are no rules.
So just remember this summer, whenever you are itching for a bit of healthy sports competition, you need only grab your tennis racket bug zapper, tuck in your polo shirt, and head out to the backyard for a spirited match. There is never a shortage of small devious opponents waiting to accept your challenge – and in this version of tennis, the only referee is you.
