The Lightning bug is widely recognized as the smuggest of all the flying pests.
This luminous insect has been genetically infused not only with an ability to flash brightly, but also with a despicable egotism that’s hard to miss, especially when they are flashing all up in your face. Technically speaking the atrocious lightning bug should actually be referred to as a firefly, but with all vernacular variations aside, and irrespective as to whether you call them a bug or you call them a fly, the question is…do they deserve to die? Let’s examine some of the most deplorable facts about the common lightning bug and see if we can manage to justify the mass killing of lightning bugs, shall we.While the cutie pie term “lightning bug” aims to present this insect in a harmlessly adorable light, the reality of the situation is that these bugs are actually winged beetles. Take away their deceptive nickname and you perceptions suddenly change. Would you kill a winged beetle? You bet you would!
Lightning bugs bioluminescence can emanate from their lower abdomens at wavelengths up to 670 nanometers. That’s one nanometer too many if you ask us.
Lightning bugs are soft-bodied, nocturnal, and spend most of their time brooding around your yard.
They are always watching you with their compound eyes, and constantly searching for a nice place to lay eggs, namely right on top or your freshly manicured grass, or if you are particularly unlucky, within a tuft of hair on your head.The biological meaning behind the “flashing” of the lighting bug is in actuality, a warning.
The Scientific community is virtually unanimous in its conclusion that the bioluminescence lightning bug blinking effect was organically programmed into the beetle as a sort of natural “stop sign” which serves to inform other disgusting insects not to eat this particularly disgusting insect.There are many species of lightning bugs that don’t blink at all – what a bunch of losers! Diurnal lightning bugs (as they are called) are actually active in the daytime, as they are surely wary not to show their non-blinking faces at night when the normal lightning bugs rule the air.
So in summary, the lighting bug is a soft bodied, poisonous and brazenly invasive species that lurks around your property after nightfall seeking out a place to breed warm larva while occasionally disrespecting you by blinking right in your face. They must be killed. If a lightning bug wants to flash its abdomen in front of you, why not give it a flash it will never forget - the flash of its own insect body exploding into a fireball when you blast it with one of our epic bug zappers.
Case Closed.
Click here for video of us killing a lighting bug - alternately, if you are a straight up dork there is always the lightning bug Wikipedia page.
